Wasting Away

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I received a couple compliments recently, or at least those that said them thought they were complementing me. “You look great!” and “You’re really slimming down.” I suppose most people would like to hear this. It just made me feel worse.

I’ve been struggling with some health issues and the last thing I wanted to do was lose weight. Most days are spent trying to ignore the ache in my gallbladder along with feeling nauseated from the moment I wake up.  Because of this, I can’t associate anything good from getting smaller.

Why do people assume losing weight was a healthy occurrence and applaud them for it? Someone could just as easily gain weight after making healthy choices. Would they get the same respect? After years of treating my body poorly, I’ve decided to commit to getting healthy. And what if I gain weight, what will they say then?

My coworker said to me the other day that I was “wasting away”. I wanted to say thank you to her. Thank you for acknowledging you see that something is wrong. Thank you for noticing that I am struggling. Thank you for not writing it off. Thank you for actually seeing me.

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